On the advise of a bit, I called my SS this afternoon. I only spoke to him briefly. He was at my W's school while she worked. His school has not started yet. I told him that I loved him and that I missed him.
I have been avoiding contacting him I think bc it causes me almost as much pain as having contact with my W. I almost feel the need to detach from him as much as I do W.
I do know though that I can't do that. None of this is SS's fault.
I broke down and cried after I got off the phone with him. It didn't matter that I was in a public place. I just have a ton of pent up sadness in me from the past several weeks. Like I need to just bury my head in a pillow and cry for a while.
I have also noticed that I have subconsciously distanced myself from OW since having contact with W on Thursday. OW and I went out on Sunday night, but even though I was there physically, my head was not.
Last night OW texted me to ask me if I was okay bc I have been so quiet. I admit that I lied and said that I was.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
