Just Be 2

[Denver_2010]

Denver,
Sell them, or give them away, that way you do not look like an A$$ to SS or W in case they ask. I would not bring it up unless asked.

I don't plan on bringing it up. I've thought about selling them or giving them away. I've also considered another idea that was brought up in a previous post, taking SS and one of his friends or one of my male friends.

I probably won't make a decision until this weekend.

As for the wondering if she thinks about it like you do.....who knows........I think they do. I asked my XW something along those lines before we divorced and she said she thought about it every morning after she woke up.

It just hurt me more.

I think that that would hurt me even more too if W and I do NOT end up reconciling.

W's statement that she loves me and misses me, that she still doesn't know what she wants, and that she wants to KNOW that we would be okay but doesn't KNOW... really, really bother me.

It's like she is waiting for a bolt of lightening to strike her that tells her that it is ok to take a chance.

Why doesn't she get that there are no guarantees with anything in life... any decision that she makes? (rhetorical question as I realize that there is no answer)

But this is why I am constantly tempted to reach out to her and try to make her understand. Again, I now realize that this would be futile. She has to reach this conclusion on her own.

I know you are still "attached" and it is tough.....I think you are moving though..........I will tell you that when it does happen you will not realize it. It will be sometime later that you think... "Wow, I haven't thought about her all day or all week or whatever"

I think you are getting to that place where you are getting tired of feeling a certain way......the pain of staying in that place is starting to over ride the "fear" of letting go.

[quote=MHL]I remember being scared that if I truly let go that I would lose the ability to love her if she decided to come back.....it was a fear.

YES. This is my fear as well. I don't want to let go completely because I feel that my resolve to fix this is the only thing that continues to give us any chance.

Can you tell me/us who ultimately filed for D in your sitch MHL? If it was you, how did your W react to that? Has she shown any sign of regret? And what finally caused you, or allowed you, to make that decision?

Filing for D myself has been something that i have considered in the past few weeks. Mere contemplation at this point, but it has entered my mind.

Thanks MHL.

Denver