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Joined: Jul 2011
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:-) I know, I know...

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"I want a magic bullet, to say the right thing which will get us back."

The best magic bullet is the one that is not fired.

Ponder that one, Grasshopper.

OK, seriously, Here...my point (and anyone else's that is on this board) is that you need to take your emotions, your desires to say ILY, your texting/e-mailing/whatever-ing, your need to reconnect with your W on every level - and put them away for now.

Pull back. Say little or nothing. Act like you have moved on.

It is difficult; maybe the most difficult thing you will do. But if you don't do this, you will not like the results. You keep pulling W toward you, but your W will keep pulling away.

Let her chase you until you catch her.


H 56
W 48
D27,S21
SS25
SS22 Severely autistic
M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs.
"I've never loved you" 3/7/2011
Separated 8/7/2011
BITS
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thanks

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Another pretty good night last night... Some laughing and time with everyone together. We'll see what happens on the roller coaster today. Trying to be a little dark. I'd say dim, but...

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Still the same... Trying to be dark today. Will be going "home" tomorrow for activites with kids. Was sort of uninvited to S baseball practice toinight. Thought about pushing it, because of course she can't prevent me from going, but thought I wouldn't do it this time. At some point, I think it will get like it did during our earlier seperation, where it became difficult to be the martyr 24/7... Where the reality that maybe I'm not the absolute worst husband on the planet might sink in...

My goal today is no ILY's... It's such a small goal, really...

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Hey W, hope you're having a good day. I love you.

I thought I'd try to say it here and get it out of my system...

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Well, another pretty decent weekend at home. I just want this to end. Back to silence as I left to go back to work... I know there's not a quick fix, but still... It's just so hard ot see the kids happy when I am there. A lot of the weekend was like old times. Then back to reality.

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I was invited to go home last night for bowling and to stay the night (seperate room). It's way too early to tell, but things have been a little more positive lately. Haven't heard much venom or can't wait to be D from you. I really worked on less contact yesterday. The last few times I've stayed there W has slept with her door open and has even showered with door and bathroom door open. Not sure that it means anything, but I don't feel as closed off. I have continued to do lots of housework when I have been home. I always did a lot, but I want to continue to show her support.

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The great roller coaster continues... Spent a great weekend, and then back to the same old... We almost ML one night, I tried not to push but just took cues. A littel talk about future things and worked on a home improvement project a little. And then of course I initiated way to much contact yesterday. Some day I'll learn, God willing...

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