Woke up this morning... tired. I miss the 7-8 hours of sleep I was getting a night.
Went to the bank yesterday to deal with some stress about finances. It ended up working in my favor. My favor being what is fair until w and I can successful split our assets. Talked to L about my rights. Have a meeting scheduled with pastor on Thursday. All good steps.
With finances safely secured, I told w I wasn't available to meet. Work is crazy busy and I just can't afford to get on that emotional rollercoaster right now. I don't want to have meetings that I am not prepared to have. I know I want 50% but I'm not sure what that looks like.
Emotionally I'm not ready either. I get sick just thinking about w, our sitch. Wish it was over.
Had a few moments of thinking "I'm running away, exactly like my w". Had to push that out of my head though. I'm dealing with stuff as fast I can. I really need to stop trying to take care of w all the time, and really focus on me. I need to stop giving her so much power.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
