Yesterday, even after giving me the "it's hopeless" speech again, he flip flopped back to wanting to know what made me unhappy in the marriage and my issues with him. Then more apologizing, tears and validating from him...and affection. Yet, I'm not sure if all that is just pity or guilt...or something else.
I'm pretty much expecting him to reinforce that he's "done" again next weekend.
I am under the impression your H is a very confused man. He may be reading the books in the hope you all can save the M. He may be gleaning hope from reading the books. However, my DB coach told me something one time and it stuck with me. I'll apply it here. He may be looking at you when he says it's hopeless but he's really convincing himself. Who knows?
I think you have a good couple of lists. I'll say the intimate conversation can be difficult for a guy. However, I also noticed sex is on his list. I willing to bet the two items on each list go hand in hand. His excess alcohol consumption is concerning - it sounds like he needs help. Overall, it sounds like you all have been able to recognize things that need to change on both sides. Because you're the one here, you may have to be the one that tips the first domino, so to speak.
