Reflection

[GAL Man]

This is what I was going to post yesterday, before getting W's lengthy email

Thanks for the suggestions

I had to collect the kids last night from 2 different locations. When I picked up S12 from MF, I thanked them and explained the situation. They were under the impression that I knew what was happening and that W had asked me first to have them. They apologised but they didn't need to and said they would always confirm with me first.


Firstly I spoke to both kids last night and they would prefer to stay with me most of the time, and go to see W every other Fri, Sat, Sun night, instead of week on week off.

Both have said they feel sorry for W and what to see her, they do nothing with W and now W is choosing not to spend all her time with them. D14 also said that things are calmer with me and feels more secure and at home.

I stated that W is their mum and they need to see her, and could also pop round in the evenings if they wanted to see either of us, but I am concerned about their welfare and wellbeing more than anything else.

I asked them both to think about this over night before I put it to W as they are old enough to state what they want, I just need to find a constructive way to put this to W.

If this is not possible then I will write up an agreement outlining the points which you BITS have raised with a few more.


Had a text conversation this morning with W as follows (the last was likely too much, but I wanted to express myself, and haven't do so for quite some time, so I expect some 2x4's but I wanted to say it)

Me
As I said yesterday I do not want to see you or speak to you. If you just want to meet up to tell me you are seeing someone, then there is no point, I already know..... with regard to the kids, I have been thinking more and will be in touch soon.

W
What happened to being adult and civil, just want to discuss the kids

Me
I have been more than adult and civil throughout all of this. I am concerned about the kids, thus as stated, I will be in further contact regarding this. I said to you back in June that if either one of us starts seeing someone, then that would be the final nail. As I have said throughout, its all about choice and our chosen actions. Choices have been made which we must stand by, accept, and deal with any consequences. I am a man of integrity, and stand by my choices, what I have said, and how I have conducted myself fitting in with my morals and beliefs. I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for, even if you know or not what that is.


I just don't want to see her atm, this I feel I need to do, firstly for me, to protect myself emotionally, secondly, as a consequence of her actions.

If I am honest, I am just not ready to see her atm after finding out things.. If I did so I would still be calm, professional and adult, but I feel this would be contradictory to how I feel.

I knew the next stomach turner was coming, but no matter how much you try and detach, it still hurt.

Difficult times..................feel like shite today,