It seems silly to think about at this point - she has her stuff out of the apartment and who knows if/when we'll be in touch. I'm starting to really know the futility of looking so much at those variables in terms of my own 'stuff' going on.
That said - I wonder what I could be doing to 'keep the road home smooth.' She isn't the strongest person and I definitely get the impression she is being coached in terms of getting this D. So any road home is going to have to be downhill and paved in ice!! I don't remember where I put my zamboni..
Finished reading Schnarch's Intimacy and Desire last night. In many ways it is an 'easier' version of Passionate Marriage, but the style is certainly more in accord with the modern self-help book format. He introduces some new ideas and distills it down into a trademarkable framework that is easier to refer to. He spends a lot more time discussing the neuropsychological aspects of his ideas, which is interesting and certainly provides another window into the idea that "one person can change a relationship by changing themselves" concept. Many of his examples contain very interesting parallels with the experiences I was having in my own M. All in all, I would really recommend it to anyone who is interested in that kind of thing.
Of course I'll read it! First reading some others. I now have more reading time! But that one line - wow. I discovered that too late. I was working hard at getting there, and once I did, it was already too late. water under the bridge. BF even said tonight in MC that he was already planning his departure. (Ick - but oh well)
Anyway, I get what you're saying - I do this too and know I'd go back in a second, simply b/c I don't want my family to be broken.
But I also think it's a way for our brains to kind of play the denial game - like it's a little fantasy to be able to imagine what it would be like to have them want us back... IDK - don't mean to be bleak...
I like how you said paving the road home. I like this a lot. Mine is a clean home now. It is warmer in its energy. The woman in it is a little calmer - things are more serene. I can listen.
That's really a nice way of saying it - thanks for that.
First reading some others. I now have more reading time! But that one line - wow. I discovered that too late. I was working hard at getting there, and once I did, it was already too late. water under the bridge. BF even said tonight in MC that he was already planning his departure. (Ick - but oh well)