I know it's hard to forgive yourself, I struggled with it also, but it is important that you do. You cannot move forward if you keep looking back, and beating yourself up over it won't allow you to grow and change.
You are not a horrible person. You did some messed up things. You own that. Yesterday doesn't matter. Today is what is important and you know you are no longer that person.
It's hard and it hurts, but forgive yourself. You deserve it.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤