Wife no longer in love with me

[aeolianchaos]

I can't work out how I can forgive myself. My DB coach has said I have to forgive myself and I don't know how. I can't stop looking back at my behavior and taking my W for granted and not demonstrating my appreciation for her.

You have confronted yourself. You have taken ownership of your 'issues.' You recognize what you did, you are taking responsibility for changing it. You are not continuing to do it. You would like to do it differently in the future. Am I missing something?

You will always have remorse for your past mistakes, but you aren't going to let it define your future, are you?

If you feel like you are deficient in seeking forgiveness the Chapman Book, 5 Language of Apology may be worth reading for some ideas.

I feel that the fact that she is being so unforgiving with me, is making it so hard my me to think otherwise and not take the blame.

Think about that statement a little. If you were not really sorry, but apologized anyways for the sake of expediency, and your wife forgave you, would it make you sincerely sorry?

Sorry for all the down messages lately......reality is starting to set in and I miss her more and more every day.....no contact really hurts.

It sounds like you really miss her a lot, and miss the contact of the day to day life. It sounds like the more real this becomes the harder it feels for you. Those are all very normal feelings that you are having and don't require any kind of apology.

What are your goals for Cam?