I have to admit I am struggling with the whole tranparency plan thing - every time I think I have everything covered I get a panic feeling of another way out for him!
So far this is what I want to put in place
1. H has already said he'll close his private email and just use our joint one (his suggestion - great! BUT how would I know he hasn't just opened up another?)
2. H has said he'll change his mobile number (again - great! BUT how do I know he isn't lying about not knowing her number any more to send her his new number?)
3. He is already ringing as soon as he know's he will be delayed even by a few minutes.
4. I will be sending the no contact letter but how do I know he hasn't already primed her to receive it and told her it doesn't mean anything??
5. I can check his phone until I'm blue in the face but he has already been letting me do this for the last couple of years on and off when I've felt worried he's still in contact with her - I never found anything and he swore he wasn't contacting her - yet he was!!! (he can delete anything he likes before I check it can't he!)
This also brings me to another thought I'm wrestling with - if we are to believe nothing they say because cheats lie - period - do I not believe anything, ever (this doesn't seem practical or very solution focused) or do I just not believe him now until he's shown me the truth with his actions??
