Alb - she hasn't asked for forgiveness! so you are right. but ultimately forgiveness is for me.
AMEN!!! OMG You've got it!
Holding onto pain is self destructive and serves no one. The OW/OM/OP doesn't have to know you forgave them b/c it's NOT ABOUT THEM AT ALL...
I saw a post that said, "Holding onto anger to punish someone else is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes."
The point is, the OW doesn't care whether you forgive or not. They are living their lives.
It's up to US to live ours. They are irrelevant.
But by withoholding our forgiveness,
we let them remain in our lives/souls b/c We are not detached or free yet.
We must free ourselves. Hence my signature lines...
If there's a person out there who hasn't forgiven the OP (assuming it's not a fresh wound)
they are walking around with a festering wound instead of a healed scar.
They wrongly believe that forgiving somehow benefits (unfairly) the OW...
it has nothing to do with the OW.
It benefits the one who is forgiving.
This is the single biggest life lesson I got from this whole experience.
My anger and pain was consuming ME, not someone else.
It was hurting ME and my children b/c I was not fully present for them...too much pain being retained in my life. Til I let it ALL go... for me.
if someone confuses forgiveness with condoning, they misunderstand this post.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
