KD,
you're right, only time will tell on this one. the courts will decide what they decide. your job is to help them decide to do whats right for all. its sounds like your w is trying to convince them to do whats right for her and her anger.

i dont get a good read on what you've written. and thats ok.

but it strikes me as if you're not giving yourself enough credit:

"And if, in moving forward, I manage to get 50/50 custody of the kids sometime in the future... bonus... but only if, at that time, it would be beneficial to the kids.."

your time is equally beneficial to your kids as hers, of course it is, dont doubt yourself on this.

and i dont have an answer for you, i wish i did, but just want to prevent you from feeling what i have felt.

"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".