Had a hard night last night - didn't get to sleep until 4am. Clearly my downward spiral was triggered by his planned visit.

Not actually sure why the finality (it is happening at X time) is different than simply knowing it will happen, but it is.

A little better today. Hope to be better still tomorrow.

H: 39, Me: 37
SD: 18, S: 7
M: 9, T: 10
"I love you but am not in love with you" - 5/11
Discovered online affair - 7/11