I sent her a text to let her know that "I need to talk to you tonight after the kids have gone to bed. Something happened today that is really bothering me and I don't want to discuss it in front of the kids. Can I meet you outside tonight on the swing for a beer?". She responded "k"
this is not good.
what you did here is sent her a text worded in such a way that it is sure to either frighten her or put her on the defensive. neither of which helps communication.
it is also very manipulative, because you've made it out to be so important and vague she had no choice but to join you in the conversation. you took away her choice to say no.
you forced yourself upon her.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
