Possible WAW to Piecing? (Part 2)

[MHL]

a) You shouldn't be asking your wife permission about how you play poker with, and

b) You shouldn't be trying to "make" a day a positive, other than by fulfilling your OWN goals and GAL stuff. This supplicating behavior of yours, I guarantee, is UNATTRACTIVE to your wife, and you're coming across as WEAK.

c) So you go to the controversial trouble of confronting the OM (and reasonable people do disagree about this tactic, but it's got its pitfalls in terms of fallout) . . . but then you go to great lengths to tell him that you're NOT telling him what to do, and you try to reassure your wife of that very same thing??? WTF???

If you feel it's "The Right Thing to Do" to tell this predator to stay away from your wife, then do it -- but OWN it, both to him and to her. And if you feel like having some diversion and playing poker with this group of guys is something that would be fun for you (and assuming no ulterior motives, as KD warns), then do it -- and OWN it.

Stop trying to placate your wife, and focus on YOURSELF.

Starsky

Agree with all this........

I will go further in trying to focus on yourself........

If you do not have healthy relationships with men then playing poker with the neighborhood guys is great.

I know that the OM is part of the group.......I am not sure that I would avoid going to the group because he is part of it.

You confronted him, I agree with Starsky.....own it, do not shy away from it, you don't have to be an ass because that just communicates fear.

You want to project confidence, to him, to your wife.......to YOURSELF.

In order to be confident you need to feel better about yourself, your confidence directly impacts how you deal with fear.....it affects the decisions you make.

Right now you are operating out of fear.......you fear divorce. Understandable.....however if it were to happen you would be alright, you would be happy again, you will survive. When your confidence level goes up your "fear factor" will go down.

Hope this helps.

Cheers