Alone, I read a post on this board that talked about the mind of a WAS and the mind of a LBS. Paraphrasing here...
We (the LBS's) are pretty firm in our decision to stand for our marriages. Sure, we all have days (and nights) like you've described above, where we want to just give up and move on. But for the most part, we hang in there for months, even years, because we believe in our marriages, in our spouses and in our commitments to God and to each other.
Our WAS's are constantly second-guessing their actions and decisions...do I stay? Do I go? Am I doing the right thing? What will this do to our kids; to our families; to our friends? Where will I live? Will my S want me back if I decide to come back?
I have been both; 12 years ago I was a WAS. It was hell. I still have regrets and baggage from that part of my life that I may never be able to completely let go of. As much as being the LBS hurts, I'd rather be that than what I was 12 years ago.
When we are able to think about our own well-being and look toward the future for ourselves, then we are able to take back some of the power our S's have stolen from us.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
