I can't move forward and it's driving me nuts

[crushednstuck]

Antonia, I read your post and feel much of the same. I, too have vascilated between the hope and optimism of a new life and the despair resulting from a seemingly unbreakable bind to my W. My "handle" has really summed up my thoughts for a while. The financial impact has really yet to be felt as we are still married and just running up credit cards to finance her lifestyle.

The notion of being stuck is always recurring as I attempt to move forward. I am aware of many friends who have women they want to introduce to me. But, I feel as though any conversation which could lead me away from focus on my M is a distraction. Contrast this feeling with two years of loneliness and lack of companionship and we are rightfully depressed.

I have reconnected with friends and made new ones, but there's nothing like the security of M or a relationship which offers that comfort. I think until we are capable of truly letting go, only then will we have a chance at redemption. With our spouses or without.