lc4, I guess I was posting my previous post as you were posting to me. Anyway, thank-you so much for your thoughts and prayers. I really appreciate them and they do help me feel not so alone. I will do the same for you.
You know, I think it's crunch time for me as well. I simply need to move forward one way or the other. If he tells the kids, I'm not sure I can go back at that point. But I don't know for sure how I will feel unless that happens. I guess I will know eventually and without doubt when I am truly "done".
I've managed to keep this latest go around from most friends, and all of my family. I've only told one friend and she's been supportive. She believes in marriage and working on yourself so she has actually encouraged me to hang in there. However, she does believe this is a character issue with my H and that he will always bail when the going gets tough, unless he works on himself. She worries about me and the kids and wants what's best for us. Sometimes she has confessed that I might be better off without H. She tells me lots of men ask about me (Facebook) but I'm not the least bit interested in other men at this point. That thought scares me as well.
And the only people that knew about the first bombing round (I don't count the ones when we were dating in this) were his family members. My parents never found out (I protected him) and we kept it from our daughter as well. H would leave when she was in bed and was back to take her to school. She was 5 at the time so she was young enough not to suspect anything.
If my family did know about this, I suspect that they would be very disappointed. They don't know the real H. Just what he wants them to see. If they found out, they would want to talk to H. Especially my Dad. He would have a nice long talk with H. Not sure that would be a good thing though.
I wish I knew what boundaries I should be enforcing. What's a boundary and what's an ultimatum is something I struggle with...
And honestly, if it wasn't for this board, I would have thrown him out by now. However, reading the forums (which I found shortly after the first bomb in this round) has given the strength to step back and not react out of anger. I recall you found this board after you threw him out so believe me, I would have done the same without DB! I actually packed up his clothing in garbage bags and threw them in the garage (oh the drama) the day after the bomb so I was going to do it but something I read on the board stopped me.
