Girl, my heart breaks for you. I know how emotionally and physically exhausting what you are going through is. I've lived it a long time, too. If you're like me, your friends and family ask you why you continue to put up with it, why you haven't just kicked H to the curb for good. But, if you are also like me, you hold out hope...for your marriage, for your husband to change, for happily ever after for your family. I know. I understand. That's why I've stayed.
I think what you do from here depends on how "done" you are. If you have the strength and patience to keep going, then stay the course. Take a step back, give him the space he needs, keep DB'ing. If you KNOW you can't take "the crazy train" anymore, than ask him to leave...do the LRT. However, MAKE CERTAIN that is what you want before you ask for it. There have been times that I drove my H away because I got frustrated, lost my cool and "kicked him out." The next day I would regret it, but in his mind, he was already making plans for his escape. So, if you don't know what you want, DO NOTHING for now. Back off...cool off...let him cool off.
I'm at the point where I have to establish and enforce some boundaries. My H has filed 3 times over the last 18 months. Two times, he has non-suited, but right now our D is still pending. In the last few weeks, we have asked our lawyers to put things on hold so we can consider reconciling (again), but at any point, we could move forward (and quickly) with it. I will say this, if/when the D is final, I'm DONE. So this is crunch time for my relationship.
Is it crunch time for you? Are you willing to continue DB'ing for now? Only you know, Endeavour. I know you worry about your daughter, and I will pray for her. Being 16 is hard enough without problems within the family. Just know that the Lord will take care of all of you, no matter what comes your way. Keep your faith in Him, and try to keep your heart and mind open to what He wants to do in your life.
I'll be thinking of you. Know that you aren't alone. Take care of you, lc4
