Julia, this is exactly what it was like when I returned from Denmark all those years ago. The folks back home don't understand your experiences, really how could they? You have grown and changed more than you could have realized.
It takes some time to find your role again. I know you certainly don't want to bac slide but there will have to be a balance in all of this. One result for me in all of this has been never feeling quite whole here in the US or while I am in Denmark. I have been back to Denmark 7 more times. You don't have to give up the adventures but you could do mini ones in the mean time.
Anytime you want to chat, you know where to find me.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thank you so much for your replies. It is so nice to come here and find friends
I still feel very confused about everything. I don't seem to be able to identify how I am feeling and that makes it very difficult to process. I don't know whether some of my reactions are fight or flight responses or based in reality.
I am having a lovely time in London though, last night I saw the Gershwin musical Crazy for You at the Open Air theatre and I have lots of family stuff coming up. But it still just feels empty, like I'm not really here. That probably sounds really weird. I don't know how else to describe it.
My running is going really well. I am going 3 times a week for longer and longer runs. I'm also doing some core exercises. Still feeling fat and gross though! Thanks Michelle for your tips - I took them on board and it helped me get started.
I think what you are saying makes sense. After living the way you have been, the "normal" world is going to feel a bit blah, and you are not going to feel like you fit in. I felt the wame way after living in Europe for 5 years, and then coming back to the States.
On the other hand it sounds to me like you are doing the right things, not being a hermit! I think you will be fine!
You were gone long enough to really get over your homesickness, to get used to being gone. So of course it feels weird to be home.
I am glad you are having fun though! Sounds like the musical was lots of fun and you are keeping busy. Maybe it would help to put together some photo albums or scrapbooks of the photos and memories that you can share with everyone? Might be a way to integrate the two parts of your life?
Glad the running is going well. Keep up the great work!
(((Julia)))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I am really busy, I had a lovely time away with my sister and my nephews who are brilliant boys and growing up fast. We were flying kites on the beach, went to a farm and also to a theme park. It was great fun and lovely to be with them.
Yesterday I went on a day trip to Cambridge with my best friend. It poured with rain but was still a really nice day and we went punting on the river. English summers!
It is so hard though because I don't want to be here. And that is the crux which I can't seem to get away from and I don't really know what to do as however busy I am and whomever I am with I can't seem to make the feeling go away
It is hard to settle back into a routine that you already know so well after you have been on the go all over Australia for about a year. Australia represents excitement now and loads of unexplored places. England, is well just home.
Maybe I never made that feeling clear to you as I knew it would be coming. You can always do a long weekend to Spain or Germany or somewhere close by to keep things fresh. You have caught that travel bug now and I am afraid you will never be quite the same.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
It's like a fight or flight response I keep having. I think it is because I don't have a plan, and I like to have plans even if only vague ones.
I've had a few days on my own as I am house sitting for my sister and I have been just able to relax away from staying at my parents and feeling pressured (not from them, just in terms of feeling like I have returned to teenagehood) and it has done me the power of good. Funny, because before exh left I could never be on my own now I *love* it, just now and then to re-coup myself. Also cat sitting, cats seem to do me good!
Anyway, I know I want to do some more trips away it is just where and when and whether I have to finish a few things here in terms of my job, which is very important to me. The saying I keep seeing at the moment is 'Keep calm and carry on', very British lol so I am trying to stick with it. Changing my perspective seems to help with the panic and feeling stuck.
