a) You shouldn't be asking your wife permission about how you play poker with, and
b) You shouldn't be trying to "make" a day a positive, other than by fulfilling your OWN goals and GAL stuff. This supplicating behavior of yours, I guarantee, is UNATTRACTIVE to your wife, and you're coming across as WEAK.
c) So you go to the controversial trouble of confronting the OM (and reasonable people do disagree about this tactic, but it's got its pitfalls in terms of fallout) . . . but then you go to great lengths to tell him that you're NOT telling him what to do, and you try to reassure your wife of that very same thing??? WTF???
If you feel it's "The Right Thing to Do" to tell this predator to stay away from your wife, then do it -- but OWN it, both to him and to her. And if you feel like having some diversion and playing poker with this group of guys is something that would be fun for you (and assuming no ulterior motives, as KD warns), then do it -- and OWN it.
Stop trying to placate your wife, and focus on YOURSELF.
