I agree about the missing out and waste. We always had a big family party for my xh's birthday. Now it is looming [one of the reasons for the emails I suspect] I believe he is missing it. The first few years he liked the 'freedom'. Although he cannot admit it to anyone, even himself, and certainly not the OW, I think he would love a family partner with all of his kids and their wives/gfs, and the cake and all the things he thought he didn't want, and spent so many years running from.
