I had an opportunity to have a good 30 minute conversation with my W today, just the 2 of us. This is to follow through on my pledge to her to work on our communication. I sent her a text to let her know that "I need to talk to you tonight after the kids have gone to bed. Something happened today that is really bothering me and I don't want to discuss it in front of the kids. Can I meet you outside tonight on the swing for a beer?". She responded "k"
After the kids were in bed she came out and I started the convo by asking about her day. She talked a little about her labour job and admitted she was tired and that she didn't want to do that full time... (no surprise there). Then she asked I'm tired, so what up? I think she was expecting R talk. I told her about a situation that happened at our oldest daughters tennis lessons this morning. Basically I witnesses a case of child abuse and confronted the abuser, and told them to stop. After talking with the abuser and telling him that is actions were not ok (smacking his kid around) we left and went home. It has been bothering me all day, as I feel like I should have done more, like report the incident to children's aid. My wife was shocked and recommended that I do what I think is right. I will report the incident to the children's aid. I could tell that the boy about 9 years old was used to taking a beating from his lack of emotion and response from his fathers physical blows, which by the way were quite audible. It still is bothering me, so I know when I report it, I hope for some peace from that. Anyways we had a nice conversation and the talk switched to the kids. My wife was in happy mood to talk and was genuinely laughing and I could tell was enjoying talking. I did my best to listen and paraphrase when necessary to show I was listening. We didn't talk long as she is tired from working all day and had to go back tomorrow at 10 am. It feels good to be talking again and I will keep the conversations going, remembering to listen more than talk.
That's another baby step forward.
I would like some feedback on how often others think I should stimulate the convos?
Also, should I keep the convos non R until my W discusses the R?
Or should I slowly introduce R talk to move us forward?
Doing my best to keep the baby step just baby steps not leaps...
Johnnie
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
