Stillness

[aeolianchaos]

It's a lot louder in this place w/o the rugs. Everything bounces off the wood floors.



Last 24 hours have been OK. No couch and no rugs, so I turned the living room into a place for me to practice yoga.

I expect that I won't hear from WAW for a while - I suppose this is fine. I am still digesting the experience of yesterday and how it benefited me to remain non-reactive in the face of my wife's distress. The obvious is that I didn't lose any of my progress, and I suspect this experience enhanced my gains. But I suspect it could be beneficial to her as well - giving her the space to deal with her own emotions instead of getting to focus on mine.

Now if only I can keep this in mind if anything pops up in the future.

I am thinking about the prohibition against 'R' talks. I have found that we have had quite a few of those when we have actually spoken w/ one another. I usually don't instigate them, but once they start they tend to be rather substantial (or at least rather lengthy). I am trying to work this out a little bit - will it get me closer to my goals if I defuse these talks or is it better for me to listen and validate where appropriate?

My W seems to be avoiding me for the most part, so when we talk and she brings up R, what is the best thing for me to do? It seems like we really have hardly made any small talk in the past 3 months - mostly just logistics or R talk. Not really sure what small talk w/ her even looks like at the moment.