I think it's your W that has a personal flaw. There are women who like men and rather be with men than with other females, but that's b/c of their flirtatious interactions with the men. She may flirt and even have a crush on certain ones, but she really loves her H. Some women are what I call the Marilyn Monroe types. The men flock around her wherever she goes. She thrives on the attention of another man, or men in general. She is especially challenged by the "forbidden" who are M or she can't have for some other reason.
It must be awful for the H who is M to a woman like that. Look at Marilyn Monroe's life. You'd think she could have any man she wanted, even the President, but she couldn't keep a husband!
If this is truly the way your W is and if she's always been like that with men, then she may not change. I think she "could" change, if she wanted to bad enough. I still believe a woman should show respect toward her husband, no matter what her personality is like or how low her self-esteem may be. The question is....how are you going to deal with it?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
