Hey NH, glad to see you're still following along. Yeah, the Coffee Buddy fiasco...this is good, the woman I am being friendly with is Filipino, worked in Saudi Arabia and is a Muslim. CB was a Filipino, worked in Saudi Arabia and was a Muslim (she ditched the Muslim thing with along her Husband!) Where do you find that twice in a row? Anyway, dumping Voldemort will come. I just don't want to spend the money but I probably should find out what the cost might actually be, it may be cheaper than I'm thinking. We'll see. No hopes of reconciliation. V is still involved with her woman friend. She's still the work obsessed lady who lashes out when frustrated and expects the world to know and care for all her needs...NO THANKS! All remains the same. Her and the kids are going to the cottage today for the week with some friends. V asked me if I'd like to come and I said no, she asked if I'd like to visit for a few days and I said no. Anyway, gotta run and pick up my friend. Well, I'm off to Port Hope today with a friend for the day.
I have a question (from someone far removed from you):
V was from an Eastern culture when you met - seems that she ended up being a much different person than you thought. Could it be that the big difference in culture made her more reserved until she was "Westernized?" I could imagine being very shy and/or deferring to the predominant culture if I landed in, say, China...not being totally myself, not knowing what I could share that wouldn't be insulting or taking the wrong way, even non-verbal cues and habits.
If that was a possibility, could that happen again with this woman? Is it something about that particular human state that they are in that is attractive to you?
I am just seeing lots of parallels between your initial R with V and who you are attracted to.
I know, for myself, that I probably have a broken "choser." At a gut, non-intellectual level, I am attracted to the same alfa males with too much testosterone and not enough brains that my ex is the poster child for. I'm not going there again, though. I want to find a "nice guy," a geek, someone as smart or smarter than me. Not just a pretty face (although the personality is much more paramount). A beta-male.....not an omega!
hey guys, I've been trying to respond to your posts but my computer keeps crashing! I think it's time to get me another. Thanks for the thoughts. Gotta go before I get shut down again! Btw, had a nice day with my friend in Port Hope.
Good thought, Donna. Believe me, I can overthink this to death. I have a whole list of reasons to do nothing with this friend. I need to chill out and just enjoy what we do together now and let it be. As far as V, she was a HK Chinese and they are obsessed with career and success. Our M went down the toilet when she took a stressful management position and decided to take her Masters at the same time. That was four years of hell. She was cooked but her career was more important than her marriage, that's the bottom line. I also live and work in a very ethnic community, predominantly Asian. So, the choices are largely Asian in everyday encounters. Asian women are very gentle, they tend to let you lead...and are darn cute! As far as my "Choser" I don't think I'm choosing Muslim...beats me where that comes from, coincidence I guess. My past gf's have been 50% my culture and 50% other cultures (Chinese, Palestinian...etc). Hey, the computer hasn't crashed!
On the pc thing, try vacuuming it out if it's a stationary. Dirt clogs the fans inside and can cause either the central processor or the video chip to overheat and then *blink* shut off.
On the chose thing it may be a good idea to eat more pork! Maybe that will help winnow out a few. Seriously, the important thing is taking it slow and I've known quite a few Filipino mixed relationships and unfortunately my experience is that unless you know the entire family history and her deep background I wouldn't go there.
I say this with the deepest respect for anyone coming from the Filipines, but there was always more going on under the surface than they let on and I know quite a few who were crushed to learn the "love of their life" could be so...duplicitous... They play a deep game there after centuries of repression so they are masterful at keeping their cards hidden as a people. I saw a lot of heartless (from my point of view) behaviour and it made me very wary of that specific group of females. There, I just spent my last 2 cents.
Great points, NH. I'm very aware of the Filipino personal history thing and was actually saying to my friend yesterday that these women often have life experiences that I can't relate to. For example, I can't imagine leaving your child with your mother and working abroad, but they do it. Not because they want to but out of necessity. They are tough little nuts, they know how to survive...probably better than me! Thanks for your thoughts.
Maybe that will help winnow out a few. Seriously, the important thing is taking it slow and I've known quite a few Filipino mixed relationships and unfortunately my experience is that unless you know the entire family history and her deep background I wouldn't go there.