Losing hope

[MHL]

Liz,

I agree with dbmod.

It is not hopeless however any relationship between you and your XH will be a brand new one.

It is difficult to deal with the memories of what you had. We soooo bad want that back and feel like we need to some how run back to capture what we had in order to be happy in the future.

We also feel that if we do not get back with that person that we had those good memories with that somehow those memories will be lost or will somehow change.

Those memories will always be "good" and will always be "happy" and it is okay to remember them. Try to remember them and smile instead of remember them and be sad.

Your marriage to your XH was good, celebrate it, cherish it and let it become a part of you......do not let it BE you.....YOU are not your former marriage......just as you are not the student that once attended high school or college.

Those were experiences that shaped your life today and they were good but do you wish you were back in high school or back in college??????? Your marriage to your XH is the same.

Now, moving forward.......you have 2 beautiful children with this man and he is in your life because of them it sounds as though you get along with him.......you are friends?????

What is LOVE?????

Friendship on Fire.

Enjoy the friendship with no expectations, let the friendship build naturally. You have strong feelings for him.....that is okay.........

Think of it this way.....

If you had just met your XH like any other man and you really liked that man......would you tell him on the first date that you think that you guys could probably get married and live the rest of your lives together?????

No, he would run for the hills......

Why would your XH be any different from any other man????

Start slow.......a lunch here and there, something with the kids do things that friends would do.

Do you have a hobby??? include him in an activity that interests you......you become more interesting that way.......Right???

Hope this helps.

Cheers