My wife is not abusive, i know all i can change is myself.

the PO is gone for the most part, so there is no worries of it happening again.

the baby is innocent, and i see it as something she did when we were not together, just like if i were to date someone new who had kids. he wants to be involved and since its a baby there will be some complications and things that have to be handled slower and with a more delicate touch than if kid was older, but it is still my wives kid so i will do what i can to raise it and not treat her (its a girl) like one of my own kids, since my other 3 kids will see it as a full sister, we wont call her half sister.

25 - i put your post in a notepad to go thru it some more, i see some very valid points you make, im not going to deny most of it, i know i have not been a great person. the DV classes were forced, but i was doing my own IC before them cause i knew i had a problem.

last night -
got home, kids were mostly calm, we ran out of dish soap for the dishwasher so she was washing dishes by hand, i grabbed a towel and started helping. she stayed about an hour in total, kids were still up and put some music on and were dancing, her being 6 months pregnant as we were sitting there i offered a foot massage and she accepted, it was nice. my big issue is always talking R with her, i think i made one comment but nothing that turned into a disscussion last night.

this morning -
nothing too exciting, kids were already up, and she didnt sleep well so going to be a long day for her ( i work 12 hours) and then she was going out with her brother tonight. i have only said that should be fun. even though on the inside im disappointed she doesnt want to spend time with me, and always makes excuses that she is tired and will not hang out with me and she will end up staying out with him til 2-3 in the morning most likely.

next few days - she has her own photography business and is planning on sleeping in sunday and then working on pictures the rest of the day. i have asked if she would like breakfast or lunch with me and the kids, no answer yet. monday we have a couple of appts we are going to do then after school going to have a family date day/night since money is tight and no family can watch out 3 kids so her and i can go out alone. tuesday is another day she is claiming to work and i will not see her at all.

we basically still run a custody of 50/50 and she does have a job she makes money at yet, so she has 3-4 days off a week to do nothing. i work 3-4 days 12 hour shifts and my days off i watch and take kids to school. so i know i have some changes i need to do, just little time to do them! i can make the time though, just has to be with 3 kids in tow.