The kids and I moved in with my parents. My house is scheduled for foreclosure in September and I wanted to make sure the kids were settled in before school since we are switching schools. I can save some money living with my parents and dig myself out of the debt hole my w was kind enough to leave me with. W claims she is working on finding a place to stay, but she may just linger in the house until the bank throws her out. It also wouldn't surprise me if W moved in with OM, but he has 2 kids so that may get complicated.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
Day 3 of me and the kids out of the house. W got real angry Sunday night when she returned from om's place. I took the cable boxes because I had to return them to close out the account, so there was no cable tv, phone, or internet. I also took D11's dresser because my parents didn't have one in her new room. I also took my motorcycle because she threatened to sell it. W left an angry text saying she would call the police for theft of marital property. I ignored her text. This morning she sent me a text saying "first day at my new job, wish me luck". She sent me a few more today, sometimes angry, and sometimes plesant like when she asked for another day before I shut her cell phone down. She seems to bounce between anger and happiness quite a bit. I guess she is conflicted between her anger and resentment towards me and her optimism about a bright future with the "love of her life" as she has described OM to others. I have never asked about OM and I don't care to know as i have no ill will towards him. I feel a little sorry for him and hope for his sake (and his kids) that he figures out what kind of person he is involved with before she drags him down a hole like me. But alas, love is blind and it took me 14 years to wise up, so there might be little hope for him.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
I can save some money living with my parents and dig myself out of the debt hole my w was kind enough to leave me with.
bb, as far as I know that debt is split 50/50 when you D. My recommendation would be for you to not pay it down, but look at placing your savings in something she cannot get her hands on. Check with your lawyer on the legalities involved and what you can do to protect yourself and the kids about that.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
I can save some money living with my parents and dig myself out of the debt hole my w was kind enough to leave me with.
bb, as far as I know that debt is split 50/50 when you D. My recommendation would be for you to not pay it down, but look at placing your savings in something she cannot get her hands on. Check with your lawyer on the legalities involved and what you can do to protect yourself and the kids about that.
Gnosis, I looked into that. In NJ debt and assets are split 50/50 so It doesn't matter if I reduce assets and reduce debt at the same time. Hiding assets is a no-no and will come back to bite you since the court is wise to all the tricks and will find out eventually. My main objective is getting my credit rating back up so I am beter able to look after my kids in the long term.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
Day 5 since me and the kids moved out. I make sure to call W every night so D11 can speak to her. I just dial and hand my daughter the phone. She speaks for about 5 minutes and tells mom about her day and then tries to hand the phone to S14 to talk. He still refuses to speak to her. W sends a text to S14 every day telling him she loves and misses him. It's probably going to take him a while to process his feelings about his mom. He has a lot of anger, resentment, distrust, and feelings of abandonment and calls her lots of names I don't care to repeat. She caused a lot of damage to him with her careless FB posts flaunting her R with OM for many months and the many lies she told him. I hope his weekly therapy sessions will help him to heal. I have been trading many texts with W recently concerning switching over utility bills, car insurance, etc. I need to get myself detached from her financially to protect me and the kids. She intends to stay in the house for as long as possible until the bank throws her out. That's fine with me as long as my name isn't on the utility bills.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
Didn't hear from W all day and i didn't contact her. She sent me a text late last night "tell my kids i love them, miss them, love my new job, and just bought a car! !!" I didn't see the need to respond. I'm getting ready for work now and i have a busy day ahead. Lots of work stuff plus I'm still working on getting the kids registered in the new schools. I also need to get my name off some utility bills for the old house. I haven't had much time lately for gal stuff, but I need to make an effort on it once things get settled. My parents have been a big help in keeping the kids occupied and entertained while I'm at work. I'd be up a creek and an emotional wreck if it wasn't for my family.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
Day 10 since the kids and I moved out. W was missing the kids so she took D11 to dinner Sunday night. S11 was planning to go but he declined at the last minute since he still isn't ready to see his mom. I tried to talk him into it, but I didn't want to force him. I dropped D11 off at a diner. Supposed to meet at 5 but W was 45 minutes late, she was out of the house all weekend and probably late in getting back from OM 's place. W and D11 were together about 90 minutes when W sends a text messaging"we are done. You can come pick her up". It makes me sad for my daughter that her mom hasn't seen her for a week and only needs 90 minutes with her to get her parenting fix. I don't know why I still let it get to me, but it does.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
I think your w's shame will make it hard for her to overcome the pain she's inflicted on them.
But I trust that her motherly love might rise above her own pain.
Keep the road home, paved and smooth. It'll be hard enough as it is.
And good luck
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Not much new on my end. 2 weeks since the kids and I moved out. I took the kids out of town this weekend to a music festival in Bethlehem Pennsylvania. I'm trying to squeeze in a little more fun for them before school starts. W sent a text last night asking that the kids give her a call because she misses them. I dialed W's number and handed the phone to D11 so she could tell her mom about her day at musikfest. They spoke for about 2 minutes then hung up. S14 and I didn't speak.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
