1. You need to take care of yourself. A good book on this is The Journey from Abandonment to Healing, by Susan Anderson. It helps you process your feelings well and heal. It's good stuff.
2. Obviously the marriage wasn't wonderful for your wife. Sometimes people keep things in, don't give a clue and then explode. She may have checked out quite some time ago and then was planning her departure carefully. This doesn't help, I know. Probably you are trying to recover weeks, months perhaps years of your life, wondering, "When did she check out?" Part of the pain is feeling your life was a lie for so long.
3. I suspect there is another man or at least the prospect of a new life for her that has something to do with recapturing her allure and beauty. The plastic surgery is the giveaway. She leaves shortly after getting all this surgery? Something is fishy.
4. The no contact is strange. Her family has no clue? Really? Blood is thicker than water and they might be proecting her.
5. Guys are often blind to the cues women give then they are unahppy. If this didn't happen, and you went to see a therapist and was brutally honest with yourself what would you say are issues you, personally, would need to work on? Do you know yourself well?
6. Live your best life. Grow, make some changes YOU are interested in making. She may never return, so as callous as this sounds, move on. You need to enjoy your life. If she does ever return it will be better for both of you if you are on top of your game, so-to-speak. You will be strong and ready to either send her packing or rebuild your marriage, should she ever return.
7. There's a novel The Zahir by Paolo Coelho about a man whose wife disappears. It has a lot to do about self-discovery. Don't know if it's all that helpful or comforting, but at least it's interesting. A bit new-agey.
