2 years ago my husband of 20 years and I separated. We had lost intimacy, closeness, had grown apart and no dreams and goals together. The separation was largely initiated by me. He wanted to try counseling and I said no i didn't think there was a point.
We amicably split and have contact regularly as we share care of the kids 18 and 14.
I jumped into a rebound relationship within 6 months with an old workmate from 24 years ago. It was exciting and i loved being loved. After a year or so he moved in with me. Even in the first week I knew it wouldn't work but my new flame talked me into giving it a go. Long story short it didn't work and i have been on my own now since February.
I miss my husband and 2 months ago I wrote him a letter asking him to forgive me and to consider trying to reconcile. We had dinner and he said no he didnt want to go there and bring up all the old hurts and he was happy now on his own. A month later we got together and he said he doesnt love me and doesnt miss anything about our marriage and there is no chance of reconciliation.
I keep thinking there is a chance and I am so sad and don't know how to accept, give up, move on or whether to keep hoping. I tell my self he doesnt mean what he said he has just blocked those feelings out of course he still loves me... and then i think I am dreaming and it will never be possible to reconcile. I am lost...
He thinks I need to learn to live alone but I don't want to...
