It's YOUR life, and YOUR marriage. If these are the things you need in order to feel safe again in the marriage, considering what he's done, then stand your ground. If he's not willing to do it, then you'll have your answer.
Basically, what you're trying to convey is "Look, I'm not telling YOU, PERSONALLY what to do. I'm saying that these are the minimum things that I would need from ANY MAN, at this stage, in order to feel safe in the marriage again, and to rebuild trust. If that CAN'T BE YOU, then I understand, but please give me the courtesy to let me know soon, so I can plan accordingly."
See the difference? You are saying that this is what you need in A HUSBAND. Whether or not that husband is HIM, is completely up to him.
