Just Be 2

[Denver_2010]

W, I miss and love you too. I completely understand that you are unsure about us, there are no guarantees. I think that it would take a lot of work and I am willing to do what it takes however it hurts me when you have contact with the OM. I can not work on us if there is any contact with him at all. (Let her figure that one out, not you.) When you are ready to try I would welcome the opportunity to sit down with you and talk about what we need from each other in order for that to happen. Until that time I cannot have casual contact with you as it hurts me while you are undecided, I am sure you can understand.

W, when you refused to stop seeing OM to work on us, You said it was b/c you felt pressure and wanted space. So I'm giving that to you.

I've demonstrated that I'm a changed man. When I told you I could not wait forever, you said 'fine'. Isn't it a tad unfair to question me now about MY committment?"

I guess this is what I read.

To me the suggestions were to do it sooner and clearer.

If you notice, Denver ended up saying TWICE.

Implying it was not as clear as it could have been the first time.

I am not trying to nitpick here, I am just suggestion sometimes we may all misinterpret what others are saying.

Peace

I honestly believe that my W is well aware of what MHL and 25 suggested that I should have told her yesterday.

I have told her a kabizillion times what I want.

I've spent 6+ months showing her that I am a changed man and that a life with me would be different than before. And W has acknowledged that she has seen my changes more than a couple of times.

She knows that I have a huge issue with her having any contact with OM. And I flat out told her after the toilet incident that I would not continue to R with her if she did have contact with him. So she knows this.

I guess I don't see how I could be more clear about these things.

I think that 25 is right. Right now, I am walking a fine line. I need to be firm in staying dim/dark and not letting her have control back... but I need to do it in a way that she perceives it as me reverting back to old behaviors.

It is tough.

Denver