Let me use myself as an example of how my boundaries worked...

I did not want to talk to my W because I wanted to protect myself from my own emotional roller coaster...

I TOLD my W that I did not want to talk to her...

She kept trying to talk to me. Whether through email or when I talked to the kids...

Finally, she attacked me about it, saying it was obvious that I did not want to talk to her...

Finally... she stopped trying to talk to me...

She realized my boundaries... whether she liked them or not...

My words did not show her my boundaries...

Now... I will slowly release that boundary... and she will notice... I will not have to tell her...