So after piecing and reconciliation, what keeps things going? Here are the skills I use on a fairly constant basis. They're not necessarily in order of importance, more as they occur to me.
1) Having good boundaries, being willing and able to enforce them. Boundary maintenance prevents resentment, and a life w/o resentment is a very nice thing.
2) Remembering to use the "When you do X, I feel Y" construction. It takes a lot of the emotionality out of conflicts.
3) Validate his feelings, and ask for validation when I need it.
4) Love languages. Speak in his, be proactive about asking for things in mine if the tank gets low.
5) GAL - still! Taking are of me and knowing what I need to recharge my own batteries is necessary M maintenance. For me this means the occasional girl-weekend away and sticking to my aikido and martial arts classes.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Taking are of me and knowing what I need to recharge my own batteries is necessary M maintenance. For me this means the occasional girl-weekend away and sticking to my aikido and martial arts classes.