Possible WAW to Piecing? (Part 2)

[MHL]

but at least we slept in the same room - it was kind of a symbolic thing for me.

First, I think you need to be sleeping in your bed, in your room, do not move out.

I do think that you made the best decision you could make last night.

My bigger concern is YOUR detachment.

You are so focused on HER, and your Marriage........

actually hyperfocused......look I get it.....

I was there.........I spun out of control one day when my W said that she was bacically done but was going to see what God had in store for us.....she said some other things that really fired me up and I threw her out of the house, bad scene.....me throwing her stuff out in the yard, the cops came, basically a big mess, just because I lost my cool.

Now losing my cool was just the symptom of the larger problem.

I was not detached......I was exactly where you are right now....

spinning out of control, hanging on ever word she says, every action she or inaction she took.

What I did not realize is the TIME factor involved and how long I had to really just do nothing but focus on ME.

Step back for a minute, look at your sitch. Back in March she said she was going to do something in June.....right????

So, what has she done.......nothing, that is progress my friend.

MWD says it in DR and DB over and over again.....PATIENCE......like huge, ridiculous amounts of patience.

Start looking at the positives not the negatives.......

As for tonight.........go to bed at your normal time and don't say anything else to the MIL.......just let that sleeping dog alone. If your W says something about it, tell her you thought about apologizing but did not want to further agravate things.

I would give your W some space, but do not give up the bedroom. If you have apologized for the other night then that is enough, do not bring it up anymore.

I would "expect" her to be cold towards you for a couple of days and then warm up a little but you need to be focusing on YOU.

Find a project around the house and pour yourself into it. Sounds like you guys have a normal busy kids sports schedule, that is actually good.

Do stuff with your kids, not just go and watch them play the game but throw/kick the ball with them.......for fun!!!

Take them to a good ole' summer blockbuster movie, go to the pool do stuff with your kids.

Be the best Father you can be and work on yourself. Look in the mirror and if there is something you don't like.....do something about it. Put on some extra pounds.....get your butt to the gym, clothes are a little out of style......go get some new ones, projects around the house to be done......get them done!!!

All those suggestions have nothing to do with your marriage.......however by doing them you will have the best chance at saving your marriage.........

Why?????

Because you will be working hard on improving YOU and when you improve YOU then you will feel good about YOU.

When you feel good about yourself, you will be more confident, more satisfied, less cranky,........basically you will be happier.

Your wife sees through your PMA attitude because you are doing it to have a direct effect on your marriage. That feels like pressure to her.

Make sense?????

I am not saying don't have a PMA.....I am the king of PMA just don't over do it.

Tell us more about you.......I said something about being the guy at the kids sporting event that is that loud obnoxious guy yelling at the top of his lungs or something like that????

Tell us more about that stuff..........I do not want to bring you down here and it sounds like you are making some changes......however it is so you can get something you WANT.....

and that is your Marriage.

It would be much different if your marriage was not in trouble and you wanted to change these things.

This is where the rubber meets the road........you start making changes in you without regard to what your W says.

Forget her for a moment.........What do you want to change about you?????

What are your Dreams????

What are your Goals?????

Who are YOU now??????

Who do you want to be?????

And BTW.......when you have your big epiphany (and you will) don't go running to her to tell her about all the things that you have discovered about yourself and all the things you are going to do........just do it. (Hmmmmmm, where have I heard that before??? )

Hope that helps.

Cheers