Loving, Listening, and Letting Go..

[aeolianchaos]

I think the moving out might be causing you to become a little unhinged which is why you're more emotional lately. It's all okay, though. I don't think you messed anything up really.

Well - it's just moving stuff. She has been out of the apartment for almost 3 months now.

I think the L and I worked it out to be about $900 a month for 24 months. For me, that's significant money. She actually hasn't cited much reason for leaving other than "ILYBINILWY" and then "I just knew that I'd feel the same after going through couples therapy" and then "I don't love you. I like you. But I don't love you"

She has stated recently that she wanted an 'equal' and a 'partner' in her marriage. I think this is using fancy words to define some other set of expectations or ideas. I think what she doesn't want to say is "You got depressed and didn't do much of anything for a year or so.. you were a PITA to be around and I felt like it reflected poorly on me to be M to you." Thats my guess, though.. not necessarily what she really thinks.

Today is going to be a challenge. I know this. No illusions about it - but I think I can do this. I can hold onto myself and just stay collected.

The spending is all Anthropologie and Restaurants - very little moving stuff. But you are right, it's not my problem right now.