while I don't get the Galileo reference with an orange... I DO think MHL's sent you a great post.
Okay so Stop ignoring her texts. To HER (and sometimes to me) it usually looks petty and seems like what I imagine the "old Denver" would do...
geez...answer ONE of them, at least, however briefly.
As for what to say now or what strategy...
what is the goal? To keep hope alive? Okay...well...with THAT in mind,
guess you'll have to somehow "keep her on the hook"
without having her lose interest the second she thinks she's risking nothing by staying away...make sense?
On one hand, I suppose you could say something like the below message:
"W, when you refused to stop seeing OM to work on us, You said it was b/c you felt pressure and wanted space. So I'm giving that to you.
I've demonstrated that I'm a changed man. When I told you I could not wait forever, you said 'fine'. Isn't it a tad unfair to question me now about MY committment?"
Denver,
God knows I enjoy the fact that your w is squirming,
b/c SHE has created a lot of this. And
Part of me wants to reach thru this computer, slap her silly and say
"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!!" and do my happy dance that she's squirming now...
or I could be mature and say I feel for her. But at this age, I don't.
B/C frankly, she sounds like me in high school, wanting to date whomever I wanted, while my ex-boyfriends were to pine for me forever, in case I changed my mind & wanted them back..."
and when THEY dated others, it ALWAYS made me question my choice to break up.
It's my hope that this is only part of what is going on with her now but with a More adult approach.
As in, "uh oh, I am officially risking losing Denver by prolonging this separation...I have to decide".
From her apparent level of discomfort, the options are as follows:
1) she's a user with an ego who simply hates that her ex is with ANYONE...
2) there is at least a chunk of her that cares a lot for you, AND
3) at least a part of her WANTS to believe that things with you two could be good again. But she needs better...and it may be possible...
Thing is, YOU MUST be able to envision with some detail, what reconciliation would look like-- or your w won't be able to.
And THEN you're going to have to attend Retrovaille, or get seriously good mc with a solution based approach (no more figuring out the past) on how to go forward from now on, supporting each other & growing old...
IDK how you do this, but it's on your TO DO list.
Start with working on YOU and getting clarity for
YOUR GOALS b/c there is certainly confusion on your end too.
My hope is
that you are in the position of the former LBSer (now poss WAS) who decides that HE too, wants to risk his heart,
along with his WAW,
and make a go of it. But I'm not sure that is what this is. Hope so.
Good luck and listen to MHL/CS...good stuff there.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
