Also, on the friend thing - you're overthinking it.
Here's what I did with exBF - (he is an "ex" now) or a WABF -
I said, "I'm going to hate you for a while. I haven't had time to process. I need space. I too would like to be friends and good parents to our D. Right now I need my space."
And that's the truth. No pressure on me to be the perfect ex in all this. It's honest. I'm deeply angry at him for walking away from our family and that is NORMAL. I'm allowed that. And I'm also allowed to grieve and get my space like a normal human being. And I can come back better - and be his friend. Just not now.
