Loving, Listening, and Letting Go..

[LearningPatience]

You can be *friendly* without being a *friend*. Think of her as a co-worker, or the kid you sat next to in math class in 9th grade. Or at least *act* like you think of her that way.

Certainly, a big part of this is the feeling that she gets to have it both ways. She never has to experience really missing me from her life if she knows I'll still be there as her friend.

If I'm friendly now, it is kind of weird to just disconnect completely if and when the D is final. If she is sincere about her fears of losing me as her friend, this will probably hurt her some.

I understand the feeling that if you are nice and friendly, you are letting her cake-eat. But if that's who you are, be you. I think it's a normal part of all of us, in this situation, to think that the other person should suffer like we do. But, if we *truly* care about the other person, why would we want them to suffer? It's the pain and fear in us lashing out.

Don't worry if losing you hurts her, that is her pain to live with. You have your own.

Someone on the board (it was probably 25, she has all the cool sayings) said the only way through this is through it. It hurts. Right now, don't worry if you will be friends down the line. That's for later. You don't have to make that decision now.