Loving, Listening, and Letting Go..

[aeolianchaos]

Now, years down the road I realize that this was a mistake. I have very few pics of someone who was an integral part of my live for over a decade. My wife, lover, best friend. The mother of my boys.

I have pictures. And, as I said, I have the DVD with 600 photos from the wedding. There are other photos around here, I'm sure. We don't have any kids together.

For me, I feel like it is the experience of all those great memories I had that gives me pain right now. I don't need the pictures to recall the experiences - so many wonderful experiences and so many meaningful times together. Yet the cost of that pleasure is the pain of the loss right now. I don't see why I would hang on to those memories in their physical form, schlepping them around with me from place to place, with the idea that some day I might want to relive those moments.

I know I will always carry a part of her inside of me - in the metaphorical sense - and I can't throw away the pictures in my mind, which are far more vivid than the snapshots of the moment could ever be.

What I'm trying to say is don't let your present feelings get in the way of your shared memories. You *will* look back on all the great memories you've had.

I see what you are saying, and I appreciate it. This is a hard decision for me, in some ways. For the most part, I am just trying to avoid anymore unnecessary pain in my heart and head. I will write more on this in a separate post -- I find myself grappling with this. I may snag a few choice photos and put them in a box or something.. but the bulk of them, she can have.