Loving, Listening, and Letting Go..

[aeolianchaos]

oy.

So i decided that I wanted to get WAW's stuff out of the bedroom and bookshelves before they come over tomorrow. I figure It will just make my life a lot easier if I'm they aren't plowing through everything on their own.

Of course, what do I run into along the way -- tons of wedding photos and photos of us before we got M. Lots of happy happy memories. Amazing how many there are - our nomadic lifestyle took us all over the place in the time we were together. 3 different provinces of canada, 22 different states that I can think of, and a nice time in paris. It is sad to think that those memories are just memories and not something that she would want to build anything new off of.

Of course, I also found my VOWs that I wrote for our wedding. I wrote good vows, and I think by and large, I kept it real. I wasn't always the greatest person, but I always saw the good in her and always wanted to create love in our lives together.

All of this is tough, but to be honest I don't feel much about it anymore - I guess because I have decided to be happy either way, and that even though this $hit is sad and heartbreaking, I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who runs away and won't stop running.

Tomorrow, she or her friend is going to have to dig through the wreckage of those dreams and I am not sorry for them. I don't expect that anything will change from it - they may just as easily toss those photos as get sentimental. It isn't up to me, but I don't want them in my life at this point.

I've never been a big photo-album kind of guy, even though I like taking pictures. I am giving her all of the wedding photos (since her parents paid for the photographer) and most of the photo albums. I am going to keep the DVD-R from the photographer, in case I ever do get 'that feeling' but as far as I'm concerned - I don't want to have to relive the pleasure and pain of this loss repeatedly.