Feeling alone and frustrated with a 180.

[aeolianchaos]

Do you have a background in clinical psychology? Or are you just very good at this DB stuff?

I think it is easier to have someone else speak to these thoughts than it is for us to do it to ourselves. Especially at first. We tend to accept our own thoughts at face value even though we wouldn't necessarily do so with another person saying it.

I don't consider myself so good w/ this DBing stuff. I'm trying, but it is challenging when after 2 months, my W seems to be still heading in exactly the same direction even if she says "I'm sorry" a lot.

And later on, W approached me for sex blush grin. That makes about once per month, which is a lot better than it could be (and has been).

Good for you, man! It's been about 6 months for me, and that wasn't so good anyways, so it would appear you are doing something right, here.

After having sex, W thanked me again for the things I had done over the weekend. I started to say "It was nothing," and she said, "You COULD say 'You're welcome,' you know." It was dark, so she couldn't see me blush. I said it, and realized that I have always had trouble accepting complements and thanks. Something else to think about.

I think this is a really good thing. She told you what she wanted - and you looked at it and considered that perhaps she has a valid request here, and then you looked a little deeper and recognized something in yourself that you could change.

What would it cost you to change this? Would you be happier? Would you feel any different about yourself?

I really need to think about the ways that change IS happening, like you said. It really reveals another way that I need to change my focus from changing for HER to changing for ME. One of the reasons I fail to see change is because I am looking for results. I forget that those need to come after the change.

I think you are really hitting the nail on the head, here. Changing for you is much more realistic than changing for her. We are all separate when it comes down to it, and the decision to change is ultimately always up to you.