Just Be

[Valeska19]

Denver,
I've been reading and thinking about your post for a few days. I feel so much of the same way. I just want to give you a hug because it seems like you are moving forward.


I really like most of what you are saying You are realizing how important you are. That you are worth love and worth the effort. You are a good man.. not perfect, but are striving to be better everyday. Your feelings are valid and worth having w/o fear that your w will run away.

Your w isn't really acknowledging any of this and that hurts.. because ^^^ is so true. When other people see that and our spouses dont.. it's a WTF. Remember though, we are changing for us.. w/o expectations from our w, our friends, or anybody.

Are you sure some of your actions aren't RE- reactions to your w not seeing your changes? I ask that honestly and only you know the answer.

The only other thing is that I want to speak up for the person who can't.. the OW. These are not 2x4 but honest questions.

The OW says she is cool with your relationship as is? Do you believe her? Honestly I'm not sure I do. She is making you feel things your w doesn't. You feel your w doesn't care, therefore the OW cares! Plus I don't really think women can just have flings.. not healthy ones at least. Is being with a unhealthy woman healthy for Denver?

You've admitted that you are with OW for Denver. How she makes you feel about yourself. There's alot of YOU in it.. is that fair to her?

If it's not fair and you may end up hurting her.. is that the Denver you want to be?

Idk maybe I'm old fashion but I feel relationships whether m, friendships, etc should be equal. Your relationship with OW doesn't feel that way.

I'm not trying to judge. But what I LOVE about this forum is the "push" from others to be the best person we can be. So.. I'm pushing

In the end, I'm sure you will do what's best for you.

You're on the right path Denver, I truly believe that.. but tread lightly my friend.