OK, Hubby is in MLC...but do I have to PAY for it?

[Tina2111]

Hey exquisite, I feel your pain. I too had panic attacks and had to get some high blood pressure medication not because I have high blood pressure, but because I was having horrible "spikes" under stress that could cause a heart attack.

My hubby has continuously blamed me for everything he is going through, which really hurt because a lot of the things he has said or accused me of, EVEN IF I AM BEING BRUTALLY HONEST WITH MYSELF AND MY FAULTS, are COMPLETELY false! It is like he is talking to someone else that is not even in the room!

He also does a lot of really wild PROJECTING! This is where they blast you for some error, weakness or sin that THEY are doing and you are definitely NOT!

I often feel like he doesn't love me, even though he says he still does, because in these crazy rants it is like he doesn't even see me! How can he love me if he doesn't even know who I am?

Thank you for your advice. I am walking a tightrope, because even though I hope God can save our marriage, I do have to get the weight of all my H's condemnation off me. For a long time, I was sucking it in...buying into, "oh if I just do better and try harder he will be happy". I am gradually peeling that junk off of me. At the same time, I do hope we can save our marriage, but this separation (even though it has only been two weeks so far) is opening my eyes to the fact that all this fear I live under is KILLING ME and if we are going to restore our marriage, we literally can't do it without "divorcing the first marriage, and moving forward into a totally new one". We have to make real changes. Even in the midst of his MLC.

I can't live with him like he's been. He has gone way too far. If he has to keep acting out to this degree, he just can't live with us. I hate to say that, but it is true.