You have had great posts - I agree completely with all 25 years and others said. What goes around comes around eventually.
My xh did so much damage to his kids. Six years on they are trying to rebuild relationships but my xh is still in MLC, and while a whole lot less mean than before, he still has no real clue either of how much damage he inflicted or how to put it right. I do not think he can face going there. However my kids are OK - all adult now and in secure loving relationships with nice people.
You cannot rebuild this relationship. The only thing you can do is facilitate any attempts that your h makes to reach out [if he does at some point], and try in some way to keep your d's expectations low. Otherwise they [like we used to] see a glimmer of the 'old' person, and think it is all going to be OK.
Some MLCers manage to remain in a relatively good r with their kids, but so many just ignore them most of the time, and rage at them when they do have contact, at least in the early and middle stages.
My xh recently did something so shocking to his middle son that I am still reeling from it. But my son is a strong person, who knows he is loved, and sadly he is now used to this awful behaviour.
We ache for our kids, find it hard to forgive our spouses for what they do to them. The only 'defence' is to love them unconditionally, and know that our example matters more than we realise, down the line.
