Can my relationship be saved, part 2

[a girl]

KD - I honestly don't know. I wish I did - if I *knew*, then I'd know what to do. But I don't know. I keep telling myself it's only been a month since I discovered his affair, and it's ok to be confused.

But, guh! I'm just so .. sick ... of this. Sometimes I want to just wait out his affair and see what happens after it ends. Sometimes I think it won't end. Sometimes I think it doesn't matter.

Sometimes sometimes sometimes! I just want consistency. I want to know today how I'll feel tomorrow. I don't. I can't.

I can usually tell myself that it takes time .. that I'm better now than I was 2 weeks ago .. and in 2 weeks I'll be better still. But I would pay real dollars for a device to fast forward me to six months from now.