If he doesn't want to see them (read, can't face them)
then so be it.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Yes. Sounds good. I pray for the childrens sake he tries to rebuild those relationships. I don't know if I've ever said but OW has a child and it sounds like H has already taken on a parenting role with her. Interesting-why can't he just b a dad to his own?
Life, he's running right now and fast. Everything about your life together feels like a trap that is trying to consume him. He believes he's entitled to happiness before he dies and he views responsibility to you and the kids as a deterrent to that happiness.
Taking on the care of someone else's kid is a choice for him. Not something that is expected of him but a free will choice. He also has no financial obligation for the child. (The kid doesn't feel like a trap to him) Everything he does for the child is probably heralded as him being a hero because he really has no obligation to do it.
Real life has a way of rearing its head after a while and they find out that the fantasy life they thought they were living turns out to have the same expectations of him as before because that's life.
Until he realizes his happiness comes from within himself and really starts to deal with his issues, he'll continue to run.
All you can do until that time comes, if it comes, is do exactly what you're doing. Working on yourself, and protecting your children and yourself the best you can from his path of destruction.
Continue to do that and you'll be better than OK no matter which way your sitch turns out.
Thank u! You are right. I know I have been told this before too but so good to hear it again! The part with the OW's child just really hurts! You r also right about the hero part. People r talking about how great it is that he has stepped up and started helping with this kid because child has behavioral issues! What!!?! Whatever!
If I have to hear one more person say"it's one thing for him not to be in love with you but not to see the kids! That's awful." It is all awful to me. I also still believe he loves me but O well.
I think that our society has normalised marriage failure - typical responses are 'These things happen' and 'there must have been problems'
Walking out on a marriage is never the solution, unless you have genuinely tried every other avenue, but many people think the right to pursue happiness can be done regardless of the cost. PEI's response is quite right - it is just too hard to challeenge their underlying assumptions.
The fact our spouses also abandoned their children rather gives lie to it being all about us. It is all about them. But most people do not 'get' MLC until it happens to them or someone close.
Thanks. Yes, I think you are right. Amazing what comes out of a peoples mouths. O well. I am just so tired of all the drama. Today is the first time in a while I just want my old life back. I am exhausted.
Just another nutty sidenote-he pulled his income from our joint account but is still paying bills from that account!!???! Hello! THere is no money in there.
