4evah'n'evah... awww maaan...

[a girl]

I would encourage you to do what is right *for your kids*. For me, framing everything as 'Is this the right choice for S7?' has been very helpful.

In my case, keeping the house instead of letting H have it (even though he wanted it) was right for S7. Ensuring that I am financially settled and our agreement provides for support of S7, regardless of how H feels about that, is what's right for S7. Developing a parenting plan that takes into account what's best for your children (when can they be introduced to her/your new relationship, etc) is another thing to think about - all of these are safeguards that she may see as "punishing" her, but are really there to protect your kids.