We had our mediation today. I kept my cool, smelled delicious and looked great. W looked great too except that I did notice that her earrings seem to be getting bigger each time I see her.
If any of you live in my state (Arizona) and have a mediation scheduled, be prepared. It could turn out to be an actual divorce finalization. The attorney case manager told us when we first walked in that if we agree on everything, we could be divorced today. My heart sank because I thought that W would go ahead and agree so she can "have this over with." I honestly believe that she thinks if she gets a D, all of her unhappiness and stress will go away. We didn't agree on everything and our court date is set for October 14th. I'm guessing that is when I'll be divorced.
We arrived at the same time. She was walking ahead of me into the courthouse. I noticed that she just seems to be in her own little world. Kind of like she is walking around in a bubble. Or I guess as we like to say....a fog.
I was a little afraid that I would go in there and let her walk all over me. I didn't. I was cool, but stood my ground.
I finally got to hear about W's debt. I was shocked. She owes about $30,000 in student loans and just took out another loan for $18,000 that she has not received the money for yet. Wow. I guess it is true what they say about MLCers spending money. She also has to pay $6,000 of a student loan that we took out to put one of our sons in college. It's funny, she didn't think she would have to be responsible for any of it since it was in my name. Well, she has to pay half.
W didn't get anything that she wanted. I got everything that I requested. The only thing that really needs to be settled in court is who will have custody of S16. The attorney case manager told W that since he is 16 in the state of Arizona he can choose and that will be a big part in deciding the custody. W was not happy at all. I could tell as the meeting went on that she was getting very p!ssed off and very uncomfortable. Hey, it's what she wanted right?
During the meeting, it was decided that W will deed the house to me this coming Friday. I'm okay with that.
It was decided that we could see the judge on August 26th, but I couldn't do it because I have plans that day with some friends (if my job hasn't started by then.) So, our court date is on October 14th. That is our niece's birthday. W wasn't happy about that either. When she heard the date, she looks at me and says:
W: Great! N15's birthday!
M: Better than mine. (Mine is October 25th)
She glared at me.
Basically, I did great today and I know it. I think she knows it too. I pretty much witnessed her "fantasy land" come crashing in around her today. She thought that she was entitled to everything and basically got nothing that she wanted.
I found this hard to believe:
When it was over, we walked out together and we discussed a time to meet at the courthouse on Friday so she can deed the house to me. She then said that afterwards maybe we can do lunch together. Huh? Why would she want to have lunch with me? I'm the bad person right? I didn't give her an answer one way or the other. I know in my heart that I would love to have lunch with her, but I also know that I should be acting "as if" and GALing. If I do, I just may end up hurt over something that she does or says.
On the way home, I get this text:
W: Well you got your delay for the next two months. Note though that once again, your friends came first. Unbelievable yet not. See you Friday. I would like to have a nice lunch.
M: I really didn't get what I want. I wanted YOU to delay things. Not the court. I didn't ask you for a delay just for the sake of having a delay. As for putting friends first, hardly. If you must know, I will be perfectly honest with you. It is a support group thing. Working on me....
W: Well good luck then and have fun. I wish you the best.
M: Thank you. Please don't think that I put friends first. That is in the past just like a lot of things. Have a good day.
No reponse.
I know I'll probably get 2x4s for the above text exchange.
Anyways, I just wanted to let you all know how things went today. I took Brooklyn's advice and did well. I left their feeling a little bad that it has come to this, but I also felt good because I handled myself well. To be perfectly honest, I don't think W had a very good day today. It is just funny how they seem to think that they are entitled to everything.
W will hopefully see the consequences of her actions.
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
